Posted by: Shawn Ragan | July 10, 2009

Three Weeks to Go

It is crazy to realize how quickly three weeks goes by.  As I get older, that realization is one that has become cemented in my mind.  I remember as a child how three weeks would have seemed like an eternity.  When we started school in August, May seemed like eons away.  Now, August and May almost seem to meld together.

Three weeks…not much time.  I began this journey three years ago, so three weeks seems like nothing.

But today is today.  It is easy to have your mind in the past and in the future and fail to be in the here and now.  This is one of the lessons I have learned over the last couple years…nepsis – to live and be in the hear and now.  I have a great quote on this from the book “Beginning to Pray” by Metropolitan Anthony Bloom.  But the book is loaned out to someone, so I can not share it.

If we stop and think about it, though, the lesson is an important one.  Be here now.  My wife frames this idea in the simple word: “Live.”  How easy is it to be somewhere else, to be a week, a month, or even a year down the road in our mind, facing things we may or may not ever face.  I was going to visit with someone this week and I was worried about the conversation.  I ran it through my head dozens of times, worried about it going bad.  Yet it didn’t, and I should have known that.  How much time this week did I spend thinking and worrying about it.

Or, we can live in the past.  Regrets.  I have them.  There are things that I wish I had not done, choices made I wish I could undo.  Awareness of our past, and our sins, is important.  Living in them, though, is not.  That awareness can help me shape the now, but what help is there in just dwelling and bemoaning about what is done.  Our past is part of our present, but that does not change the fact that we need to live in the present.  It is easy, though, to dwell on it, especially the contemplation of sins.

While we are distracted with the mistakes of the past, and worried about the problems of the future, we lost track of the here and now.  We stop being where we are at, in that moment, with those people, in that place.  Then the moment has passed, and our kids grow up too fast, things continue to happen, opportunities passed, moments passed…

There are only so many of them, so many that we will have and then this life is over.  What are we using these moments for?  What am I using them for?  There are things I want to do, yet I do not.  There are things I do not want to do, yet I do.  What matters?  Nothing matters if we are not first present in the now…to make the most of a moment, we must first be present in it.

Now is what we have, it is what we have been given.  I am excited for our Holy Baptism and entrance into the Apostolic Church in three weeks, but tonight we are getting ready for our boys to leave us for a week.  Tonight, is where I am at, and tonight is where I am going to go be…


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